As I look down at Earth

Anonymous

As I look down at Earth it is difficult to comprehend that my initial perception of space was that it was just another place. And going to space would be no different than going to my grandma’s house, the food store, or Disneyland. I remember so vividly when my bubble of naivety broke in my first-ever second-grade physics class. “Space is the room in which Earth hovers.” My teacher said. “It is filled with celestial bodies, such as planets, comets, and stars like the sun.” I had never felt so small and would never again feel as big as I had previously felt. If we are just the tiniest speck in the big black infinite room, what is really the meaning of it all? From this pivotal moment in my life, an unyielding thirst for knowledge was sparked within me. I craved to know everything about space and found it to be equal parts awe-inspiring and frightening. This thirst eventually led me to pursue a career in physical science, but I strongly suspect that a small part of me was also hoping to eradicate the feeling of being small, powerless, and without meaning.

As we drift farther from Earth than any previous space excursion ever has before, I find my thoughts obsessively coming back to it. It is as if I can see Earth and its wonders clearer now when I cannot physically see it anymore. Not least are the marvels present in nature, the treasures of wilderness and animal life. They are also present in the bonds and relationships that humans are capable of forging and nurturing. In the things that we discover and the ventures that we take on. Through the creativity and limitless potential that we channel into doing good, and sometimes bad. Guilt and regret plague me that I didn’t find meaning in the simple and the complex, the known and the unknown, as well as in the history, present, and future of humanity. I desired purpose and meaning, and I pursued it on an exploration beyond our solar system when I could have found it at my grandma’s house, the food store, or Disneyland.

However, my course is already set and there is no meaning to ponder what could have been. All I can do is urge you all to behold the beauty that is in your very vicinity, you do not need to seek far. I know you may also find ugliness, but it is always within our grasp and ability to enforce change, to make our Home a place for all. I cannot say that I succeeded in my quest to erase the feeling of being infinitely small and powerless, but I no longer feel as though our life on Earth is meaningless. I long to go Home.